Blueprint of the Mind

Sharing my perspective on life through my personal experiences, ideas, and my evolving thought pattern.

Girlfriend/Boyfriend Talking to Your Close Friends. Yay or Nay?

I’ve heard or seen this situation come up a lot. You get into a relationship and your boyfriend/girlfriend starts talking to your close friends a lot. 

For the most part this is pretty harmless. 

There are usually 3 situations for this:

1. ) Friend was friends with loved one before you started dating:

In this situation there is no helping it. Your friend was in the picture long before you started dating. Depending on the situation this is harmless if the relationship that you have with him or her is strong and the relationship has a strong foundation built on trust. Many times I seen this situation go from harmless to troublesome because of jealousy and lack of trust that ends up pushing the loved one away. We would like to believe that you can trust your partner so that nothing happens but sometimes people are just trifling hoes, in that situation it can’t be helped. Best you can wish for is to hope they are man or woman enough to fess up. 

If you are a follower you should already know how I feel about cheating. 

2.) Partner meets new friend and they talk a lot

Personally for me, in this situation first thing I would hope for is that this new friend is gay! Crisis averted…nothing to worry about. All jokes aside, in this situation it comes down to the same thing. TRUST. You need to trust that your partner will always do the right thing. Lets face it, sometimes there are people out there who will gun for your man or woman. Its a bit flattering but in the end you need to trust your partner will do the right thing. The right thing includes being sure to not lead this person on and or if the situation comes up when this person did something, he or she need to come to you and be up front about what happened. Especially if a pass was made.

3.) Introduce Girlfriend or Boyfriend to your own close friends

Sometimes two people from the same circle of friends get into a relationship and sometimes both people come from two completely different circle of friends. Who doesn’t want their girlfriend or boyfriend to be a down ass chick or guy right? I remember a time in the past where a friend of mine was pretty upset about his ex-girlfriend taking all his friends away after they broke up. The situation was that the said ex had become really close to his friends that he introduced to her. Break up was nasty and friends sided with her.

Personally I love having my girlfriend close to my boys. Theres nothing better than your boys loving your girlfriend. It makes hanging out very enjoyable. It also means that she has their blessing which in some cases is very hard to do. You want to make sure all of your friends approve of the girlfriend. Granted not everyone is going to like someone and for me I trust and love my boys enough that their opinions do matter. I trust that if someone is toxic or no good for me they would intervene and let me know. Sometimes its okay to not care what others may think but for me i think its important that everyone in my life gets a long. 

In the previous situation, all I can say is that those friends were not REAL friends. In the same situation, my boys would never abandon me. Thats the difference between a friend and a TRUE friend. My friends will always take my side whether I’m right or wrong. That is how you know they are your real friends.

Where do you draw the line?

Where do you draw the line? On one side, you love someone. You are there to support them and help them because you love them right? When you love someone you want to be a better person; and you can only hope that you will in return make them a better person too. 

On the other side you love someone but this person is toxic. At what point do you start to worry about yourself only? Does it make you a bad person? Does it make you selfish?

Example: You fell in love with someone who then develops a heroine problem. You are to help that person if you love them right? Let’s say you’ve tried your hardest to help this person but they dont seem to want to be helped. Do you abandon that person? This person is clearly no good for your life. If you do can you say that you truly loved that person? Is it fair that this love cannot be reciprocated? 

When I say “I’m Broke” I dont mean I have $0, I just mean I have responsibilities I have to handle first before spending on dumb shit.

To Plan or Not to Plan? Live for Today

I’ve always been told that I have innate ability to plan. Up till now I’ve always taken it as a compliment. I’m usually ready for anything that life has to throw at me. I mean how can it be a bad thing to be prepared for the future?

Most people would think that the ability to plan and prepare are good qualities to have but like all good things, it should be done in moderation. 

It has always been in my nature to plan and prepare; whether it be for a trip, a test, a game, a job interview or anything else you could think of. It might also be contradictory to say that my personality is just as easy going and carefree as the next person. I love winging things, I love playing things by ear, I love going with the flow and even yolo’ing. Is it possible to be carefree yet plan for the worse? 

I digress, but the point Im trying to make is that I never really realized until recently that sometimes my planning is one of my worst characteristics. 

I have been so obsessed with planning for the future I forget to live in the present. Carpe diem! I used to live by that! Letting go of the past, not worrying about the future…..live for today. Live like tomorrow will be the last.

Somewhere along the line I’ve lost balance between living in the now and planning for the future. I try to plan for my future; making sure I save enough for retirement, figuring out what I want to do in 10 years, what kind of house I’ll have, when I’ll get married, what my kids will grow up like….things that are yet to happen. 

The actions of today determine the results of tomorrow but if all you can do is look into the horizon and stare into the future you will miss whats right in front you (today). 

I’ve forgotten about that…….I need to enjoy what life has to offer. Do enough to make sure I dont end up homeless and broke ….. because if all you do it live for the future you wouldnt have really lived at all.